Friday, July 29, 2005
Fuck. Let me fly on Tuesday.
(I just realized all my short "random" entries begin with
Fuck)
Throwing you kisses @ 8:27 PM
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Fuck, why are talking to me like I'm so unimportant, like some fly that you can just chase away with one swat? Why? What's going on? Is this how you talk to everyone, or is it only me? Tell me. I demand to know!!
I know it's paranoia. I know it's everything I shouldn't be thinking about. So erase my doubts, erase my fears, erase them!! I deserve to know better, be treated better.
I miss you. But why don't you show that you missed me too?
Throwing you kisses @ 11:49 AM
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Tuesday, July 26, 2005
May 9 continued_____________________________________________________________IF YOU KNOW ME IN REAL LIFE, UPON READING THIS ENTRY, YOU HAVE AGREED TO COMPLY TO THE TERMS "WHATS HERE STAYS HERE". WHAT I AM ABOUT TO WRITE, SHOULD ON NO OCCASION BE HEARD UTTERED BY THE LIPS OF ANOTHER OR REPRODUCED IN WRITTEN WORDS, MUSIC, ART OR ANY FORM OF COMMUNICATION.
PLEASE GIVE ME MY RIGHTFUL RESPECT._____________________________________________________________Drawing an end to my spazzing morning, the bunch of us decided to go to my park downstairs. Us being me, bree, kaitai, mel and liam. I doubt if we acquired anything to dominion, so it was basically just hanging out, which is fine by me. Even when Kaitai started to color me with dandelions.
I think that was our first ever dandelion fight. Oh, the memories it brings. It wasn't much of a fight. I had the springiness and flexibility of a girl, but he had the speed and weight of a well-built athlete. It wasn't long before I was on the ground, scrambling on my hands and knees for dandelions, brying to avoid the invasion of yellow dandelions against my body.
It was quite the lost cause though. Kaitai had the clear advantage. He had the stronger and longer limbs while I had... well, the weaker and shorter limbs. So, the dandelions had it easy that day. But mark my words, the day when I get stronger and longer limbs will be the last time those pesky yellow plants shall ever see daylight ever again.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Too bad that I'll have to overcome my ticklishness first, which is almost an impossible feat. You should've seen me rolling on the ground with dandelions clasped, trying to evade Kaitai's "attacks".
At last, I raised my white flag and laid there, breathless, on the ground, staring at the clouds. It was when Kaitai walked over again to gloat over his "hard-earned" victory that I realized that something was amiss. I don't know what made me realize what I realized but I did.
Let's just say... boy scouts could have camped under there.
I wasn't sure what I should do just then, so I just laid there, tugging at my clothes, making sure nothing was askew. I must have said something because I don't recall an awkward silence. And you can't blame me for glancing over at the pitched tent a couple times just to make sure it wasn't the spring wave that had gone to my head causing me to hallucinate. But it wasn't. It was there, as clear as broad daylight. I didn't say anything remotely close about it to Kaitai, instead I acted as if I didn't notice at all. But I think he realized it a couple moments later as he, if memory still serves, briskly walked away, leaving me sitting alone for a minute or two before he came back to drag me up from the dandelion-strewn ground.
Standing up, I allowed myself another glance. Flat, this time.
Habouring extremely mixed feelings. I walked over to the swings with Kaitai where Liam was trying to "kill" Bree with Melissa clutching her stomach, laughing. I lingered there for a bit, with Kaitai's arms around my waist, holding me, before I strolled to the open field again. Kaitai followed.
I didn't know what I was supposed to think. Is it a good or bad thing? I know I'm probably making too big of a deal about such a trivia matter. But I have my queries and doubts... maybe that's why I basically rejected his every attempt to kiss me after the "incident" that day.
I'm pretty sure, now that I've had a good 2-3 months to think this over, that there's no good or bad in the matter. It's a normal human thing to do, isn't it? Ya, ya. I'm sure it is.
Then what is it that still etches that memory in my mind? What is it that struck that single fragment of my life so deep into my heart?
Was I shaken? A little. Not too much.
But if it can happen even in History class, even under the boring lecture on the o-so-charming George Brown, surely that day could be just a rush of hormones... and blood.
Although, I'll have to be absolutely honest. I quite like the idea that I can turn him on (supposing I'm more attractive than George Brown) even though I am... shaken.
+_+
Throwing you kisses @ 5:55 PM
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Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough 
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai
