Saturday, November 06, 2004

I'm working hard on html 2day, attempting on making my first blogskin, namely this one. lolz. not bad 4 a first timer if i do say so myself. well, took my mind off him 4 quite a while. i couldn't stop coughing 2day though, my voice is gonna b ruined!
AHHHHH!

we have a rehearsal on monday. i'm singing instead of playing. i wish i was playing though. sigh* he's in honour orchestra too, he plays the viola and vice principal of the violas too. *dreamy sigh* maybe i can get him 2 notice me on Monday, if i ever do get my voice back... sigh.



STOP! GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!

it's definitely not rational 2 behave like this, i gotta stop. sigh* oh and yesterday, which is friday btw, i caught him looking at me alot or maybe he's just looking at me cause im just plain weird... or (oh i hate 2 say this) he's looking at my friends. i wish it were the first...*wishful thinking*

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Friday, November 05, 2004

ya well, i'm confused cause i dunno if he likes me. its kinda tiring 2 have a crush. but maybe thats cause i haven't fallen 4 any guy since like grade 2. he's really cool. u cant say that he's really good-looking or anything but he looks cute. hes chinese (i've sworn 2 only like white guys.... but you've gotta make exeptions for the special ones) but surprising, he's extremely athletic. when all the other guys use 8 minutes 2 complete a mile run, he only uses 6! but that doesn't mean he's all muscles and no brains, he's smart, got perfect on gauss just like me... lolz grin*. and um... he's also sorta like the class clown, well maybe not exactly clown but he's sooo funny! oh oh oh, and heres the part that u have 2 noe--- he has abs! well, not that that matters, but its always a nice bonus. hehe ^_^ sigh*

but the thing about him is unlike all the other popular guys in my school, he doesn't get all that close 2 girls. like, in my school, hugging is extremely common and guy+ girl hugs r not that unusual. no big. but when a girl tries 2 um... be "friendly" with him, he doesn't buy it. he doesn't appreciate the hugs from girls. i dunno, i kinda like that about him, cause he's not that easy like other guys. and even though he's humorous, he's not that dirty. omg, rn't u falling 4 my guy 2?

but the thing is, i can't tell if he likes me, and i haven't been dealing with crushes for soooooo long! and i know i shouldn't get distracted from my studies (asians r like that) but but.... i'm lost, dunno what i should do. should i tell him? but i'm afraid he'll reject me... sigh

i cant figure him out. u know how funny guys should be all "open" and stuff, well he is, just that sometimes when we're around him, he's all "what do you want" kinda attitude. its really confusing.

o ya, here's a little detail i found out yesterday. the grade 8 girls r trying out 4 basketball and this really "perfect" girl called sharon was trying out. and my crush was cheering 4 her, and when my friends ask him if he likes her, he denies it but ya, i kinda think he likes her. that girl is kinda like one of the most popular girl in school. she's really artistic and stuff.
HUGE BLOW
(hang on, i think i've talked bout this in the last entry, but watever)

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I don't know anymore. I think i still have a crush on him but... i don't know. it's so tiring. people say its a blessing 2 love. but is it love? its a crush. he's so perfect. maybe not in looks, but in EVERYTHING else. unlike lotsa other guys when girls throw themselves at him, he remains unswayed. call him arrogant, call him stuck-up. i like that about him. he's dependable, hes secure... (wow, i'm soo protective) but i dont know, he's cold to me as well, just like he is with other girls.

i heard he likes this other girl. but when my friends confronted him, he denied. i know that girl, she's perfect, well almost anyways. sigh. that girl is talented, popular, pretty, fashionable, everything im not. i know i'm being negative but when u realize that your crush may not return the favour, its hard 2 remain positive.

I'm such a bum. i've only been crushing on him 4 a couple days, yet im in so deep...

_____________

Dorcy
Call me Dorce, Dolce, Xi

Im simple	Im deep
Im dumb	Im smart
Im conceited	Im self-aware
Im crazy	Im logical
Im loud	Im quiet
Im unfeeling	Im caring
Im messy	Im lazy

Im everything I love
Im everything I hate.



Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough Lorenze Lorenge Lozenges
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai







10/31/2004 - 11/07/2004
11/07/2004 - 11/14/2004
11/14/2004 - 11/21/2004
11/21/2004 - 11/28/2004
11/28/2004 - 12/05/2004
12/05/2004 - 12/12/2004
12/12/2004 - 12/19/2004
12/19/2004 - 12/26/2004
12/26/2004 - 01/02/2005
01/02/2005 - 01/09/2005
01/09/2005 - 01/16/2005
01/16/2005 - 01/23/2005
01/23/2005 - 01/30/2005
03/06/2005 - 03/13/2005
03/13/2005 - 03/20/2005
03/20/2005 - 03/27/2005
03/27/2005 - 04/03/2005
04/10/2005 - 04/17/2005
04/17/2005 - 04/24/2005
04/24/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 05/08/2005
05/08/2005 - 05/15/2005
05/15/2005 - 05/22/2005
05/22/2005 - 05/29/2005
05/29/2005 - 06/05/2005
06/12/2005 - 06/19/2005
06/26/2005 - 07/03/2005
07/03/2005 - 07/10/2005
07/10/2005 - 07/17/2005
07/17/2005 - 07/24/2005
07/24/2005 - 07/31/2005
07/31/2005 - 08/07/2005
08/07/2005 - 08/14/2005
08/28/2005 - 09/04/2005
09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005
10/02/2005 - 10/09/2005




Past
Shannie
'laine
Mel
Bree
Shar
Miv
Mitri



Image Credit --> Aethereality
Pixels --> Kawaiiness



This is my space to rant, spaz, kill, rampage and mentally masturbate about whatever, whenever I want and whereever I want. No one said that bitching was supposed to be eloquent or pleasant, so if you're offended, I'm sorry, but you made the decision to read what I wrote. To everyone that might or will offended, if I'm still your friend, no matter what I wrote here, I must still love you enough to entertain you every day. I am not without faults, so excuse me if you will, like I excuse whatever I wrote in here about you. What's here stays here, whatever. Copyright © to ME, Dorcy Xi Chen, unless otherwise stated.