Saturday, January 08, 2005

wow, this has truly proved to be the longest week in the entire history of my life... history hahaha, i crack myself up... must be the food. but i bet all the food in the world wont spare me the tears that shall accompany this entry. or maybe they will, since i've always seen this coming anyways. ha, im psychic.

i was talking to dimitri as usual. i've realized that i do have the biggest chat log with him which is hardly any surprise at all since he's such a good talker and always has advices for the weak like me to dish out. and not only that, he always manages to make me laugh, which is always good at times at these. sigh. well, back to the story, i was just talking and dimitri told me of the 3 hour long convo he had with kaitai on wednesday. so i screamed on msn and griefed over how i wasn't there to catch him... sigh... we weren't meant to be after all. but thats not the main point of this entry. the thing is... after dimitri told me of his 3 hour long convo... he told me that kaitai will not be going to any schools in toronto next year thus meaning that he will be ditching us, ditching me after 5.5 monthes... i guess i wont be seeing that guy then. i knew he wasn't going to go to the same schools as i was so thats ok... i knew bout it then didn't i? of course i did, y woulnd't i? he lives in mississagua and well, him being all smart and athletic, he'll easily get into any high school that i cannot even dream of getting into. i knew he was going to be completely separated from us once the year is done and i'll never see him again. i've known that long time ago... so im ok... but if i was okay then why do i still feel all twisted and uneasy inside while im writing this? i know im not going to be seeing his face again unless at class gatherings, he even said so himself and honestly. he doesn't care that he's going away and ditching all of us behind, he made ivy's presence and departure at dimitri's place sound so casual, claiming he only "half-raped" ivy cause that was the last time we would ever see ivy again. he said it with such ease that it pained me. it pained me to know that all my dear dear friends at JGA would be going separate ways soon and it pained me ot know that he didn't care at all, much less about me. i'd be a thing of the past, a tear in the ocean of memories, amongst which he'll never be able to recall. he'll never remember that i existed... he'll be admist the hundreds of other new attractive, talented girls... and i'll be nothing compared to them... i dont like putting this down... i dont like the way how im chocking while im writing and i dont like the way how much i care about him, and i really dont like the way how i could care so much about someone who cared so little bout me.

but im ok... i truly am... i see no tears on my cheeks, my eyes are still ok, they're not brimmed with tears like they used to be, bit moist but not flooding. i guess it's all too far away to truly relate. its hazy and foggy away in the distance, and whenever i try to grasp that fact, it only drifts farther and farther away from me, seeming less and less like reality. and i would fling my self at that distant image, only to fall on my face... pathetic me. but i am that pathetic lil person... watch me break into a thousand pieces on friday, and watch me cry. watch me fall as i paste this convo...

:(DEPRESSED?: i feel like seducing someone before the
year ends
[11:50:40 PM] Mystery Gree: u cant really help it, i mean, you spend
ur entire day to come to ur shool just about
[11:50:44 PM] Mystery Gree: seducing someone?
[11:50:46 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: :D
[11:50:54 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: yes
[11:50:58 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: thats right
[11:51:05 PM] Mystery Gree: hmm
[11:51:06 PM] Mystery Gree: who
[11:51:19 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: make my stay at JG worth while
[11:51:22 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: ur pick
[11:51:26 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: make it a good one
[11:51:33 PM] Mystery Gree: hmm
[11:51:38 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: i dont care
[11:51:49 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: no one farfetched
[11:51:58 PM] Mystery Gree: lol, try marija
[11:52:05 PM] Mystery Gree: get past ketchup boy
[11:52:13 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: lets not
[11:52:21 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: cause he got friends
[11:52:24 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: if u know what i mean
[11:52:30 PM] Mystery Gree: yeah
[11:52:33 PM] Mystery Gree: scary friends
[11:52:55 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: come on
[11:52:57 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: ur pick
[11:53:17 PM] Mystery Gree: rachel? dorcy? madi? bridget? kristen?
[11:53:49 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: right...
[11:53:53 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: choose one
[11:54:28 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: ....
[11:54:34 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: so....
[11:54:34 PM] Mystery Gree: eny meeny miny mo
[11:54:52 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: catch the penis on the go
[11:54:56 PM] Mystery Gree: ha
[11:54:56 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: ....
[11:55:11 PM] Mystery Gree: try rachel and dorcy as back up
[11:55:26 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: back up?
[11:55:32 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: whos the first choice
[11:56:32 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: ?
[11:56:39 PM] Mystery Gree: i dunno
[11:56:41 PM] Mystery Gree: dorcy?
[11:56:57 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: u sure
[11:56:58 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: ?
[11:57:21 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: cause i like being remembered
[11:57:44 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: u absolutely sure?
[11:57:58 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: cause i might leave a "lasting" memory
[11:58:02 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: if u know what i mean
[11:58:35 PM] Mystery Gree: what?
[11:58:55 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: nvm
[11:58:58 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: u sure about this?
[11:59:06 PM] Mystery Gree: u dun have to
[11:59:10 PM] Mystery Gree: i chose at random
[11:59:14 PM] Mystery Gree: u no like dorcy?
[11:59:18 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: cause my school days are pretty boring
[11:59:20 PM] :(DEPRESSED?: not really
[12:00:16 AM] :(DEPRESSED?: besides basketball, school is kinda gay
right now
[12:00:19 AM] :(DEPRESSED?: so
[12:00:25 AM] :(DEPRESSED?: u have to be sure about this
[12:00:33 AM] :(DEPRESSED?: cause i dont really know about any of
them

ha, seducing... well i knew he wont like me... and here we go, another piece of proof to prove my theory rite. so he wanted to seduce someone eh? someone in our class... someone whos not mel, kristen, sarah, pauline, or may. wait... and me. so its either bree or suz... i wont go into my theories for that nite... they're there, under plain site... kaitai had no prob with one of the girls in the list and well... sigh not gonna cry 2nite... it didn't really sink that nite... i had a good nite's sleep. i knew kaitai didn't like me, and even more so because of this convo. but there's always part of me he's being the liar that he was and this is just another one of his lil lies. and him asking dimitri to make sure... well, i dont know how to explain this but yes, i did try to find excuses to put off all the hurt im feeling inside and somehow... they did manage to comfort me in a way... i stil live in my own lil world of lies, convincing myself that i still carry a place in his heart. but its ok... i can drop a thousand miles from my castle of white fluffy lies and fall onto the harsh and bitter cold reality and smash myself into inrecognizable smitthereens...

_____________

so ya, after 5 hours of sleep, i woke up and headed for vball tryouts... at 7.45 in da morn... pure evil. but it was ok... i guess i mean i did pretty good, i feel perty much as the same level as rach and van... one of my serves hit the ceiling as usual... whoops lolz. i wanted to make the cut bad... so i had my fingers crossed that i would make it and did, together with sar, may, rach, and van. shar and bree weren't on the list... much to my surprise... well actually not really. since they never were picked for the second time... but its just evil i mean shar is everybit as good as me and bree, im not sure, but i know bree is good. thing is, where bree was playing there was htis weird pylon thing in the way so how could she back up for bumps or volleys??? that was retarded... and because the only good serve we got from teh team we were playing against, they were at the back... so they didn't get a chance to come into contact with the ball so they never even got to show what they had. and then they got cut and we know we cant argue.

so during lunch... i did pretty good well at least i think. but i never got a chance to serve so that was evil and while i did do quite a few bumps and volleys... i was cut which i feel was very unjust. im not taking the oppurtunity to boast of my vball skills... i mean im not the best athlete like sar, but hey, i dont think i was that bad... i mean, joy and lilz and may got on... so wats to prevent me from being on???? me and joy taught lilz how to play alrite? so that should say something. and joy and me we both admit we're at the same level... i've been playing vball with joy since 4ever and grr... i sound like im spazzing... dont get me wrong, i love everyone that made the team, im not mad at lilz, or joy or may, im just upset at mz devrey for being so biased... i love may tons but sigh... i should stop... i dont wanna sound negative and i know how horrible it is for me that day. i really dont wanna relive that day. vball tryouts were a complete disaster... ms devrey... ugh. i mean after school, all the girls (madz, rach, shar, bree, me) hugged 2gether and rach even cried... i feel so srry 4 rach she was really good at the tryouts... that was evil... how they cut me, rach and van out... sigh i mean, there're just too many things taht we cant set rite. and we cant complain to the coaches, they'll just think we're being petty girls and say something bout us that might be true and what not. i mean, we were better than quite a few girls that still weren't cut yet... god... i sound so evil and deserve to die... so i'll stop. the last thing i wanna do is turn like that mean girl in the mean girls movie.

mitri was fun... chamber choir, me and shar and him (who cares bout grammar) was having good time laughing it up at poetries and stuff lolz. hilarious. may didn't sit with us that day... i dont know if its cause she sensed the negativity or was it she didn't feel like making the trip all the way to the side... either way, im sorta relieved... cause i def wasn't in a good mood. and what with the kaitai thing still present... bah... thats history... but the day only gets worse...

_____________

did i ever teel you bout my dad?? im sure i did... he wrote a letter to ms a. how great... he put it into my tests and i didn't even see the letter so innocent lil me just handed it in and on wednesday... the day when i went to bree's house. i think it was during LA or some other homeroom time... and i was called up to her desk and she asked me if i had seen that letter that my dad had wrote... there was one particular phrase that caught my eye. "...she had never gotten such low marks before so i believed that there is something wrong with her...". great... so there's something wrong with me eh? great. is thsi what ur parents do to you?? they tell u that there's something wrong with you? dont they friggin know that negativity only brings negativity. did they ever stop and think that all the put downs i have to put up with from them is what might have resulted this?? and they wonder why i dont like to talk with them about stuff... everytime i do try or attempt to, i end up crying or screaming into my pillows. they never try to look at things from my point of view. i try my best to please them... babysit... grades... tidy my room and all that stuff... its all typical stuff rite? but no matter what i do, how well i do it, its all crap to them... all my anger comes from my family... i noe im much better off than a lot of kids who have to deal with much worse stuff than i do... like the kids from south asia, ones who've lost their parents and friends and their loved ones... but im sorry, i really cant relate, their problems are much more than what i can comprehend. they struggle with the material things in the world, like actual food and water, but what i have to go through is inside myself. no money or things could replace what i feel inside. i hate breaking down. i used to be able keep a happy face in school and make everyone believe i aint got no worries in the wordl, but now im breaking down, my eyes are bloodshot... constantly. i dont talk as much and even when i do... i sound fake... fake to myself. that smile disgust me. how can i keep up a replica of pauline's face when my insides are burning and twisting into nothingness?? i want to believe im strong, and i dont need anyone but this year has turned my life completely upside down. i remember summer when i was ms independent. i dont need no one. no matter who gets me down, i could always bounce back and look onto the bright side of life. but as the days moved on, i find my rebound time would lengthen and extend... i find it harder to move on. the things that got me down just keeps on haunting my mind. i cant rid them from my mind... it bugs me how weak i have become. i break down into nothingness over almost everything now. that isn't like me. i used to be strong, i've survived tons but what is wrong with me?!?!?! i dont know... i want to be strong, i want to be my own girl... but somehow, everythng's seems to be in my way... i used to be able to be able to withstand the pain that those wounds gave me... i used to be able to heal those openings so easily. but i guess they never truly healed... and it doesn't do me any good that its always the same scars that get busted open each time and time agian... the same weak spots... making the healing time longer and longer... i let my tears roll down in class... no one really noticed... so thats good i guess... sigh... this entry is much longer than i had expected... and im still 2 eventful days behind schedule.

_____________

翻開隨身攜帶的記事本
寫著許多事都是關於你
你討厭被冷落 習慣被守候 寂寞才找我
我看見自己寫下的心情
把自己放在卑微的後頭
等你等太久 想你淚會流 而幸福快樂是什麼
愛的痛了 痛的哭了 哭的累了
日記本裡頁頁執著 記載著你的好
像上癮的毒藥 它反覆騙著我
愛的痛了 痛的哭了 哭的累了
矛盾心裡總是強求 勸自己要放手
閉上眼睛讓你走 燒掉日記重新來過

_____________

Friday, January 07, 2005

u wont believe how many things happened between the couple days that i had neglected to blog. starting from wednesday...

well... i guess nothing really happened on wednesday... except for the fact that i went over to bree's for science... well, in the name of science anyways... we did everything besides that. lolz. after dinner... we started doing lotf... pure evil torture. its a very pointless assignemtn if u ask me, i mean wats the point?? shes not goint to be marking it hard anyways. pfsh still upset bout the way how she just took up the questions without reading it. there goes my hours of work down the drain. it really pisses me off... then again.. today wasn't all that smooth. so i was doing lotf and i went to get my book from my backpack but then i realized that i ahd left the book in school and so i had to share bree's copy which is perfectly fine by me until i realized i wont be able to finish the essay until like 1, so i had to ring up me rents to get them to pick up late into the nite on account of how the school is already closed then and i had no choice but to stay at bree's house until i finishes... and u just know me rents weren't 2 happy bout that... so they started screaming at me in da phone... right in my ears. i was crying by the time i finished the phone call, i cant believe he hang up on me... my own parents hanging up on me... its not a nice feeling to have your own dad just click the phone. it was a horrible night... all that welled up inside me... bottled up...

so i got back at 1 from bree's house and went early 2 school the next morning 4 vball tryouts... ahhh... all that chatting and i only finished 1 paragraph that's messed i tell u... so i'll have 2 continue 2morrow.. sigh*

_____________

Thursday, January 06, 2005

yesterday STOP ms anderson arranged for interview under request by dad STOP get upset STOP almost cried in class STOP well i actually did STOP not happy day STOP forgot lotf at school STOP stayed at bree's house until 12.45 STOP unhappy STOP dad was screaming at me in da phone STOP cried at her house STOP i cry too much STOP stupid kaitai all his fault STOP finished essay STOP poor bree stayed up longer than i did STOP tryouts today which is yesterday's tomorrow STOP too sleepy and upset and yada to talk bout it STOP so ya me go doozy now STOP

_____________

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

well, same ol same ol. except a few other things to keep in mind.

I love JGA... everyone is gifted is beginning to seem like one huge family. its a nice feeling. ^^ anyways... vball tryouts tres tres confusing. im starting to sound like miv. all her french influence. but its alrite i love u mivv!!!! the date and time of the vball tryouts are as uncertain as the weather... but good thing i didn't miss it during luch. i really thought i was good... until i tried the serves... the school vballs r sooooo muchs ofter and easier to exert force upon than the one i play with... so my serves went WHAM!! into the ceiling... the only good one (we only had 3 tries anyways, and i only got 2) that i did serve... the coaches were looking away... so that was pointless but good thing they're not basing the cut on 2day or i would have so died. i mean... if i dont make the 3rd cut, i would cry out in anguish for the unfairness in the world.

i still wish i was in bree's seat. the table made it impossible for kaitai to talk with anyone else but bree. lucky her and now all the girls are noticing kaitai's gentleman-ness thx 2 moi. ^^ nice to know im doing something good 4 him, but at the same time i dont know... im still terribly insecure... but i'll stop going into a rant. i mean, i hope sarah's insecureness didn't come from this blog... god, that girl worries more than i do... well, i guess she has more at stake but all odds are in her favour but everything is stacked against me... so i REALLY dont c da point of her worrying. sar, if u readin this, i suggest u read my latest post 2day on that other blog thing. lolz... now i have/ had 5 blogs... im so crazy.

also... somehow, my dad snuck a letter 2 ms a between my tests... dunno if it was on purpose but i certainly didn't know bout it. and well, he wants 2 meet with ms a. great, now im officially the suckiest kid in da world. wth. he says its not the grades he cares about... he says its wats behind taht horrible percent that makes him upset. sure... dad... say watever u want, change wat u wanna say every 60 milliseconds. i really dont care. u knwo you're just ruining ur relationship wiht me even more. great going there. u dont understand me, so just give up or die trying. we really have nothing to talk about now and u ask me y i blog... no phone and msn is me being sneaky... who else do i confide to?? besides... i dont like to be a downer. im so like the sun.

and do u know whats amazing i said something deep and poetic 2day.
1)there's always someone in your eyes, but now, no one's worthy of them, so your gaze still lingers on the one that you last had them upon.
2)i'm like the sun, brilliant, bright and happy and happy on the outside but burning inside.
i feel so proud. *pats self on back* good mood... must be the volleyball... o PLZ PLZ LET ME MAKE THE TEAM.

o ya, joy asked me if i had to choose between sitting at bree's spot and having kaitai to treat me like a close friend, and making the team waht would i choose?? i dont know what to say, my instincts tell me to choose the first. i guess initially in the beginning of the year, the main reason y i had wanted to so desperately make the team is cause of kaitai, my lame attempts to be good at wat i can to impress him... sure. i still love him, its pointless, but im a girl at heart... (and even outside maybe lolz) and i cant help hope that my fairy tale fantasies come true. so now... im gonna make da team for myself and for him. i have to do things for myself! whoever said taht guys make ur grades slip are foolish... unless u count taht thurs but that was completely accidental, but on the most part, me loving him only makes me work harder. thats y all my sketches look so nice... its cause he sits beside me and can c them... im hopeless but i dont mind... if my hopelessness brings me hope, i'd rather stay a hopeless lil girl forever.

_____________

Monday, January 03, 2005

It was a horrible, HORRIBLE day i tell you.

i will not cry. i will not cry. i will not allow my tears to fall in front of them. i will not allow my tears of my hatred fall. i feel nothing but hate, nothing but o god... i hate my life.

Guess what, first i c when i step into the classroom, i get new sitting plan. i dont mind this one... but kaitai... sitting with bree... i wanna cry!!! i wanna sit beside him!!! o grr. i was upset bout that 4 awhile until it was the afternoon and i got my math and pic book grades back... It was sooooooooooo HORRIBLE. EVERYONE GOT BETTER THAN ME!!! WTH IS THIS WORLD COMING TO??? im not saying i cant be beaten but wth... i sooooo deserve better. ok, i know im not the best writer or best question come-upper... but what did i do to deserve a friggin 百分之七十三 和 百分之八十五. that is pure evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i would kill myself over it then and there, if i wasn't in school and if there wasn't ppl i love still in da world. its not like i dont blame myself enough for this. i know i should have cared more, i know i shouldn't have let the xmas spirit be all over my head. but it the one thing that happened that isn't nearly as good as what it should be. its my fault. i know it is... it's unfair in some ways, but i only really have myself 2 blame. i didn't really spend enough time on it. i mean, i have my downtimes and that week b4 xmas was just pure slaughter for schoolwork. so i wasn't in the rite mind for studies. i noe studies should be rite up there, being no.1 on my list. but hell, what about kaitai, what about everything else that has been bugging me?? and it REALLY has NOTHING to do with kaitai with my grades anyways. i just lost it that week. that was all that happened. i cant help but be a lil over my head when that time comes. and its not like i dont blame myself. it was me. i shouldnt have lost it and i shouldn't have done so many things that affected my grades. BUT THEY FRIGGING SURE AS HELL DIDN'T HAVE TO RUB IT ALL IN!!! i cant talk with them about ANYTHING now without ending up in tears or agony. isn't that ironic? the ones that i used to love with all my heart are now always ending up causing me to cry. its a diff case with kaitai but my very own parents doing thsi to me. dont they knwo there are other stuff going on in my life?? wait... nvm.. nothing besides acedemics exist in their own lil world. so more than half of me can just cease to exist then, i guess. big deal. do they care??? no!! they jsut had to go on and on about how rotten my schoolwork is getting. what am i? some kind of dummy? i dont think 4 myself?!?!? they just have to replay my entire afternoon over again, drowing me in my sadness and anguish once again. notice how i use drowing and being sucked into a balckhole a lot?? guess why. ha. betcha never guess. ha! so now... im...

~BANNED FROM MSN
~BANNED FROM SHOPPING
~HALF AN HOUR OF INTERNET A DAY
~ONLY CAN USE MORE ONLY IF I GET NOTE FROM ANDERSON STATING I NEEDA USE DA INTERNET DESPERATELY FOR RESEARCH OF PROJECT
~GONNA HAVE LONG TALK OR WRITE LETTER TO ANDERSON (dad not me)
~NO MORE BLOGGING

great isn't it? i LOVE my life and i haven't even gotten to the other parts thats been buggin me 2day, as usual kaitai... man, i take everything 2 heart 2 much. ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY. i swear, im going to go crazy sometime... im going to die soon. everyone's that i've loved has made me cry in one way or another. those who didn't, i'll only learn to appreciate them more with time.

Bad things:
~didn't get 2 sit with kaitai
~kaitai might have affections for ...
~math is screwed
~LA is screwed
~Dunno time for vball tryouts
~prob not gonna make it anyways
~got long lecture from dad for swooping grades
~got emotional breakdown from rents that i once loved and adored
~feel even more isolated from family than before
~not going to be able to have smooth convo with WONDERFUL friends on msn anymore
~monolog made me cry in school
~kaitai still thinks im a retard
~anderson prob hates me now for my stupid work
~no cool pink top to go 4 2morrow
~think im going crazy
~think im going way too distracted from studies
~think studies is going to drive me away from getting in touch with my feminine side
~life is screwed

Good Things:
~i love my friends
~i love my supportive friends
~i love my loving friends
~i love my understanding friends
~i love my friends
~i love kaitai
~i have a good group (dimitri ;P)
~i got my vball form signed b4 2day
~get 2 c all my friends 2morrow
~get to leave home in exactly 9 hours and 20 minutes
~get to c all my friends in exactly 9 hours and 20 minutes
~feeling better after blogging
~stopped crying
~i caught kaitai smile a lot today (not at me, but o well)... nice warm fuzzy feeling (who came up with these terms anyways??)
~get to smack all frustration into vball 2morrow (even though i wont prob make the team taht way)
~i love my friends
~i love everyone that loves me and one that doesn't

_____________

Sunday, January 02, 2005

tommorrow school, nerve-wrecked.

wonder what i'll do when i face kaitai... knowing me, i'll prob have butterflies in my stomach again and well, i dunno, acting like he doesn't exist... which is sooo wrong. but i dont know how else im going to act. it's not like im going to go up to him suddenly and strike up a convo. besides its already suspicious enough with my xmas present and me asking him 2 dance TWO times. and well, i just hope wes didn't decide to tell everyone about it. i mean now, besides the "clueless" ppl (crush wise) rach is the only one that doesn't know although im pretty sure wes woulda told her. and well, chris and wes noes. i mean, they're awsm ppl, i like them alot but no... how they act everyday aint exactly what u call the "trustworthy" type behaviour. but i still like them. ^^

so ya, the thing with kaitai is gradually driving me crazy. slowly but surely. and im in an ok mood so im not going to cry and make my rents think im crazy for crying to the computer. 关键是现在我又有了另一个难题。我不是很清楚，那天mitri开了派对以后，“米利”对我说我的他对她很友好，省直有点太友好了。也许只是我多心吧。我希望如此，因为如果你让我在朋友和我的他之间作出一个选择我想我很可能会彻底疯掉。现在每当她对我说她和他有了一个很友善的谈话我就有点不知所措的感觉，大大源于嫉妒。因为我在他身边简直就是一个白痴，我在现实生活中根本不敢靠近他，面对他，心里就会有点发毛。而她呢，在男生旁边特别的自如，简直设学校里公认最大的“富了特”。哎，我现在真是乱得一塌糊涂，已经是不可救药的陷下去喽…… wat rotten luck

_____________

Dorcy
Call me Dorce, Dolce, Xi

Im simple	Im deep
Im dumb	Im smart
Im conceited	Im self-aware
Im crazy	Im logical
Im loud	Im quiet
Im unfeeling	Im caring
Im messy	Im lazy

Im everything I love
Im everything I hate.



Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough Lorenze Lorenge Lozenges
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai







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06/26/2005 - 07/03/2005
07/03/2005 - 07/10/2005
07/10/2005 - 07/17/2005
07/17/2005 - 07/24/2005
07/24/2005 - 07/31/2005
07/31/2005 - 08/07/2005
08/07/2005 - 08/14/2005
08/28/2005 - 09/04/2005
09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005
10/02/2005 - 10/09/2005




Past
Shannie
'laine
Mel
Bree
Shar
Miv
Mitri



Image Credit --> Aethereality
Pixels --> Kawaiiness



This is my space to rant, spaz, kill, rampage and mentally masturbate about whatever, whenever I want and whereever I want. No one said that bitching was supposed to be eloquent or pleasant, so if you're offended, I'm sorry, but you made the decision to read what I wrote. To everyone that might or will offended, if I'm still your friend, no matter what I wrote here, I must still love you enough to entertain you every day. I am not without faults, so excuse me if you will, like I excuse whatever I wrote in here about you. What's here stays here, whatever. Copyright © to ME, Dorcy Xi Chen, unless otherwise stated.