Wednesday, June 15, 2005
when everything goes wrong... u cant help but question yourself.
i mean honestly. if anything that has room for you to mess up is messed up, is it not your fault? anyways.
i got to school. got complimented on my shirt by ppl. felt happie and felt nice about looking decent today. but i guess that only lasted about 3 periods before anderson told me my shirt was inappropriate because it wasn't three fingers. truth be told, i agree with her, which was the reason i didn't even bother argueing today. it's not like i didn't know i was pushing the dress code when i stepped outta the door this morning. i knew. i knew perfectly well what i was doing and wearing. i knew it wasn't quite three fingers, well your fingers anyways. the part that bothers me is:
WHY DONT ANYONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE FREAKIN' SCHOOL GETS DRESS CODED?
sure, im overreacting. i know i know. but its a figurative of speech or what not. im exxagarating. in the back of my mind, i know just as clearly as anyone else that other people gets dressed coded as well. the thing that bugs me is the only time i wear something that is remotely "inappropriate", i get dress coded. then what is it with people strutting around with sphagetti straps, halters, minis and never, i repeat, EVER get confronted by a teacher?
besides. like may said, what is it with teachers and those shoulders anyways? im so sure that all the guys in school want a piece of me because my strap is a 2 and half fingers!!! o ya, those shoulders are o so sensual. are they not?
the guy thinking process:
wow, that girl has such GORGEOUS shoulders... AH AH AH. must contain myself...
but look at those wonderful collarbones. o lord, forgive me, but what must a guy do when such juicy collarbones are exposed. they're o so tempting.
ugh ugh. must control hormones. they look osoluscious!! i just wanna suck on them and make love to them all day and night because *groan* they !@$@ing turn me on!!!
*yoda moment* HORNY I AM, FUCK ME YOU MUST!!
STOP AROUSING ME!!! *pounces on girl with a sphagetti strap who deserves to be dress coded but DIDNT!!pfsh. as if. if they are o so sensual, why do they still sell micro minis, tube tops, belly tops etc etc the list goes on. seriously. i even think belly top is pushing it. if your top isnt intentionally meant to be above your belly button, then there shouldnt be a problem. shirts roll up. pants/skirts/shorts go down. we cant help if there is a gap in between. i dont mind that the rule is there but sometimes the teachers are way too paranoid for their own good. it gets on my nerves so.
and what's more, it's not like im out there to screw all the guys in school over. i'm such a goody-goody or at least i try to be. i try to do so good in acedemics. surely those two would not mix well. most of the time, you're either extremely good on one end of the spectrum or you hang in the middle in both.
if you don't mind me tooting my own horn, i think im a
Case A. So what is it with you people and dress coding me and never EVER dress coding other people who so DESERVED to be coded?!? it makes me sound like such a slut always complaing about me being dress coded but the truth is. i dont dress half revealingly. if ashley and bree can wear those bluenote shorts (The one with blue strips down the sides.) in school, why cant i wear them in GYM?!?! same pair of shorts, same school, and
I'm the one that gets coded!!! in GYM no less?!?!
UGH. i swear, ms a is out to get me. i hate the world. (no not just cause of this.)
Throwing you kisses @ 7:40 AM
Sunday, June 12, 2005
"if you dont like me, do me a favour and fuck off."
i don't like swearing. but i do
i don't like spending. but i do
i don't like competing. but i do
i don't like spazzing. but i do
i don't like bitching. but i do
i don't like pms-ing. but i do
i don't like getting my flow. but i do
i don't like having my body. but i do
i don't like getting labeled. but i do
STOP labelling me.
STOP! i declare you STOP!
i am not an ungrateful lil brat. i tell myself enough how i shouldn't buy it. i beat myself up over it. i dont need u telling me again. i wont argue, but that doesn't mean you're right.
this is such a joke. look at me. i'm a mess. i've changed. so much.
i swear sometimes i wanna kill. sometimes i wanna cry.
it's not fair how i've changed. it's not fair if i dont know if its for better or for worse. it's not fair that i refuse to go back to the way i used to be. it's not fair that i'm always complaining about how my life isn't fair because its just bull because i have a great life right now.
"breezy said her parents dont like the way you dress. too revealing"
o really? o really. i know perhaps the way i dress isn't exactly the most conservative way of dressing to azn parents but its just not fair that they pick on me when i wear just about the exact same thing all over girls do.
lemme recount. i have worm 3 skirts all YEAR. and 2 shorts that violate the dress code and once was at the track meet when every single girl was wearing shorts like mine. i, on no account wear belly tops. wear sphagetti strapped tank tops to school, wear halters alone to school. i really dont understand y my way of dressing is inappropriate.
i got dress coded just because my top wasn't ironed properly. btw... for the record. you CANNOT iron that shirt. u iron it. you might as well throw it away. so there was no way i could have prevented my top straps from rolling up. and they shouldn't even be considered straps because that top covers every single inch of my torso.
its such bull. i agree with the dress code. i find it a nuisanse yes, but i dont oppose it. after all, haven't i lived with parents who embraced that kidna logic all my life?
i dont even know what im saying anymore. everythings just buzzin in my head right now and im too scared to say it.
i didn't change. i'm not a tramp. i know it and you know it too.
im not yours to label.
Throwing you kisses @ 10:03 PM
_____________
Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough 
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai
