Thursday, September 01, 2005
I am sooo bored.
Yet, I feel like breaking down.
Well, not literally, just you know, if feels like theres an anvil on my chest.
Goddamn anvils. They're so heavy. Almost heavy as Kaitai.
So maybe that's what's really on my chest, Kaitai.
Again, not literally.
God, I feel so empty all of a sudden. I feel so distant.
I guess it's finally sinking in that we are actually splitting up. This took me awhile. Graduation was 2 weeks ago, yet it's only now that I start to brood over it. This is so strange.
Well, during summer. It's just summer. Everyone's meant to be away. And I still hang with the people I like and care about. It's just another summer.
But now, it's going to be high school. Another school year. No, it's not just another school year. It's a school year without some of the people that I've grown to care about and love the most. I don't know how I would handle this. I'll survive, it's just sad, so very sad. Sometimes, it's almost like they're still going to the same school as me and I'm happy, but when I think about it. I realize how many people are leaving and how attached I am to some of them.
Like last week, Kristen asked me to get lockers with her. I started naming people that I would want with us.
Kaitai, Bridget, May, Madz, Dimitri, Sharon, Liam...And I caught myself. Those people, those people that I've loved this past year, half of them won't even be here.
It felt so horrible. I felt like crying on the phone. Just let it go. But somehow, I can't cry anymore, the tears just rolled around in my socket, refusing to flow. So now I'm stuck with all these harmful emotions inside my body with no means of letting them loose.
It's almost like... I'm pms-ing again.
Damn, I need more calcium.
Now, that didn't come out of nowhere. Studies shown that calcium may reduce the symptoms of PMS. Majority of women's symptoms reduced after taking 1200mg calcium/day.
Damn right, it's better than yours.
Throwing you kisses @ 9:51 AM
Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough 
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai
