Saturday, July 02, 2005
well... enough with the unpleasanties of cam and sar... i'll move on to more pleasant things.
hmm... its one thing to dislike something done to you than not doing it yourself. im no saint. i cant say i fully fulfill the old Confusium saying.
"Do onto others as you'd like done to you."
or something like that. i ain't no master at translating shtuff.
if you spazz when otha ppl ask you for your grades when they ain't 99.9% perhaps you oughta leave me be when i refuse to show my geo grades instead of rudely snatching it outta my hands. FYI I sorta like having certain privacies, and yes, that does include my grades. i chose not to spazz at you but instead at this broken keyboard after 2 months.
ya, ya, i sure can habour a miniscule grudge after 2 months. *sarcastic look*
um... no.
i just happen to write down the happenings in life and write about them when i have time.
its not the fact that you're invading my grades that im concerned about. i could care less about my grades. just that sometimes, you needa leave me some personal space for what is left of my injured dignity to heal itself instead of beating it up by brutally ripping away the walls that shelter the secrets i'd like to protect.
i understand if by devouring the failure scribbled which is scribbled onto my poorly completed homework your ego and pride is boosted to a new level, but your pleasure is quite at my expense. if you really consider me your friend, just let me when i refuse you.
unless of course...
you're too engrossed in the world of prying, despicable gossip.
not saying that i dont gossip. but gossip has its relativity issues. if by gossip, you mean prying into others personal affairs... then, its nothing but down right low. yet if gossip you mean by ppl confiding in you which results in you knowing what you know, then, its not a bad nature at all.
gossip has it's pleasing moments. it's definitely addictive.
<< Gossip Girl >> criticis says it best:
"Deliciously catty and immediately engrossing."
"A nasty, guilty pleasure."indeed, its nasty, its sinful, so forgive me if i chose to keep my grades to myself instead of adding to your lowly stashes of gossip.
***speaking of nasty and guilty pleasure. so is sex. and so is everything that arouses me.
fuck, im 14. its such a retardly awkward age. neither too old or too young.
so much for no relationships. so much for no physical arousal (that'll have to wait for later entries). so much for the innocense i used to have. so much for no sexual yearnings. so much for no needs (its not that huge yet) and wants.
maybe it's because im already 2 days into july instead that innocent Apr 20th so now when i look back everything. everything is coated in lust. everything right now is a battle between the brain-y logic and bodily desires.
but im getting 2 months ahead of myself.
how i miss the days when lust wasn't nearly as strong between the two of us. when we just stayed at the lil playground for over an hour, hugging and kissing in the freezing cold. when we'd resist the urge to go creeping home to the warmth of the heaters instead of braving the bone-chilling cold.
my small body shivered involuntarily and my teeth chattered so. but i was fine as long as i had your warm embrace around my trembling frame, as long as i remember that you're out here with me, instead of going home. i wished i could wrap my arms around you to prevent you from shaking as well. you were cold. i could tell. yet you stuck by me until 5:55 that day.
o hold me again, the same way you held me then. the same delicate way you held me. so gentle for fear of breaking me, yet so tight so you can protect me from the cold. hold me again. hold me again. let me know you still like me way you did. let me know you cared like you did. let me drown in your strong embrace once again.
i was cold but you warmed me by putting my hands up against your back, warming them with your body heat. and i had a half minute walk before i can escape into the sweet sweet heated building where i seek shelter from that blasted cold. you, on the other hand had another 45 mintues on the now unheated ttc system.
poor boy. i love you. doesn't that make you all
warm and fuzzy inside?
too bad i never told you that...
Throwing you kisses @ 8:41 PM
Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough 
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai
