Sunday, May 01, 2005
HOLY BLEEPING FUCK! I HATE THE WORLD. I HATE MY PARENTS. COUPLE OF FUCKED UP MOTHAFUCKERS WHO DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT IS GOING ON IN MY SHITTY FUCKED UP LIFE. THIS IS IT. I AM GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL, SWEARING AT MY PARENTS. I DONT CARE! I AM GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL. SO CAN THEY. SO CAN EVERYONE ELSe.
who do they think they are, screwing up my life like this? i was gonna go get joy's bday prezzie today but mel decided to call about bree with i'll get to later hopefully. it was one of those emotional crisis and there was no point explaining to my thickskulled understanding dad whose power and ability to comprehend and feel for the shitty things that happen in my life just overwhelm me everytime i attempt. i wouldn't have been late had i not been friend enough for 10 minutes to help mel through part of the crisis during which period of time, my parents have been inconsiderate enough to scream at me constantly. eventually when i finally realized i had to hang up to save my hide, i pulled on my shirt and socks with my dad still screaming at me telling me and i quote, "zai xi yi fang deng wo" which means for the mandarin challenged, "wait for me in the laundry room".
so i put on lip gloss and found my purse which could not have taken more than 2.5 minutes and went down to the laundry room to realize that i need the front door key to get in. now someone please tell me how in the world was i supposed to know that, considering i never ever step into that claustrophobic room. so i waited patiently outside, knocking on the door from time to time, only to realize no one is ever going to open up that door. so i went upstairs to look for my mom only to be left cold standing outside the door for 10 whole minutes. my sister and mommie have formed an alliance of sorts to lock me outside my own door and when i called to be let in, my mommie resorted to screaming at me instead. so i went down to the basement parking lot and saw my dad in the car.
wow, is that where he has been all this time? in his cozy lil car while i was locked out for 15 whole minutes? i applaud u. i make my way across the lot only to see my dad starting to drive away while i stand there waiting for the car to stop so i can open the door. but he didnt. i resisted the urge to stand in front of the car to block the way but i didnt or couldn't. so instead, i flung open the door of the moving car and seated myself in the car. and all throughout the drive i hear my dad yelling at me to get my fat ass outta the car cause hes drivin' me nowhere. and when i asked him to ge me home, he refused in such a gentlemanly manner (coughcough) that i cannot help but marvel at the vulgarities in the begginning of this entry. i tagged along for THREE WHOLE HOURS all the time cussing under my breathe and being amazed at myself for putting up with such crap for so long.
it was you that told me to wait in the laundry room, i waited there, where the hell were you when i got htere? i apologize sincerely for not having enough brain cells to figure out that u might in that damn car of yours. and i am deeply ashamed that i called ur cell only to have u not pick up on me 4 times in a row. i am also very very very deeply apologetic about the fact that i take ppl's words seriously so i waited for 5 whole minutes in front of the laundry room thinking you would come back, whereever u are. i apologize for being the gullible lil girl who doesn't think and trusts what everyone says. i also apologize for sulking all that time because you kept on glaring at me and shoting vulgarities at me. as you can see, i am deeply sorry because it was truly me that was 120% at fault.
and when i finally settled myself at the computer and initiated my blogging session with kelly clarkson music blaring in the background, my mom decided to remind me of the fact that i am an ingrate who does not deserve anything in life. that, i do not argue with. my mom then "politely" decided to turn off my speaker once and for all. i could not blog without music, not when you have caused me so much misery. so i switched on my speaker again. my mom, very unimpressed with my performance decided to prove to me that shes the one in charge by turning off my speakers once again. now, i had enough life and grace to not bother with the speaker again. instead, i waited until she left the room when i noted that she didn't close the door behind her properly. so i walked to the door and slammed it.
i dont know about you guys, but slamming doors seems like a pretty average teenage thing to do, correct me if im wrong. but my mom chose to come in and start giving me a few blows of her mind. literally blows. like physical blows. then again, me being 14, was not that weak and feeble no more, so i suffered no damage. but ding dang it! what sorta rents do that to you? and after that, she proceeded to shut down the main power of my computer and thus resulted in me losing half my entry. anyone who had an entry as long as mine would know how tedious it is to type up the whole thing again...
i dont get it. i really dont. how is it that my parents have the right to dish out vulgarities and psycical blows while i sit and watch and everytime i do occasionally let vulgarities slip, my soul would feel so chagrined. i dont know. i feel bad. like some despicable girl who doesn't deserve anything she has, which is true. but... im truly sorry, but somehow, i feel it wasn't completely my fault. or maybe its just my horrible human characteristic... forgive me...
Throwing you kisses @ 6:54 PM
Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough 
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai
