Saturday, May 28, 2005

i feel like a lil liar. maybe thats all i am. i lie way too much for my own good.

mel called last night and the subject of me not going to queens came up again. supposedly my dad called her dad to find out where i was the day before.

okley, digressing a bit so i can fill u in on what happenned the day before. leaving out the track and field shtuff, i got home only to realize i was locked out for the 8th time in 1 month. so i grumpily walked over to lily's all the way saying how kaitai didn't even bother saying goodbye to me. not that it was that much a big deal since we both neglect our goodbyes under circumstances but it gave something to be cranky about so i can pretend to be a sad pitiful lil girl whose life is going down the drain.

the story is, my parents didn't have enough brain to figure out i was at lilz' even though the only places i could be were joy's and lilz' since i am incredibly road/ ttc challenged. when i got home, my mommie told me she called everyone on my caller id... this is how the convo went (translated):

me: so who'd u call?
momm: basically everyone on your caller id-
me: whabuhjii... um... so you called melissa, bridget, sharon, marija, racheal, kristen, lily, joy and... (avoiding mentioning kaitai) who else is on my caller id?
momm: *suggestively* kaitai?
me: ... gah gah gah!!! you called him?!?!
momm: *giddily nods*
me: *runs arond the room panicking and freaking out*

-- 5 minutes later --

me: you called kaitai?
momm: mhm
me: what'd you say?
momm: o, my daughter's missing, is your son there?

(well, it can be interpretted 3 ways. so here they are)

ver 1: my daughter's missing, is your son there?
ver 2: my daughter's missing, is your son still there?
ver 3: my daughter's missing, is your song missing too?

(back to the story)

me: OMG!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH what's wrong with you?!!! gah!! his mom alreday dont like me the last time you talked to her. ugh. you're not allowed to talk to no parents no more... gah
momm: *grins and laughs as i freak out*
me: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
momm: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, nah, i just called melissa and lily *grin grin*
me: *stunned silence* ...... what's with you???......... you... you... dont do that to your daughter!!
momm: *laughs as i stomp off into the kitchen for oreos*

isn't my mommie great?

enough tangents, the point is, when mel's parents called. they informed my dad of queens which my daddie claimed he had no clue about. when mel called the day, she informed me of this and i cant help but rethink my jan and feb.

i had claimed that i had worked my ass off trying to convince my parents that i should go to queens. but did i? maybe, maybe not. i had lost those 2 months of my life by neglecting to blog and i have a feeling that even if i did blog. i wont remember to blog about what goes on in my family because think about it, jan and feb were my months of intense misery/ intense bliss. there would be no way i am willing for forsake bloggin about my first crush in place of blogging about my trashy family life.

either ways, i didn't blog and now there's no way for me to retrace my steps and figure out what really happened then. i did mention it to my parents. but my parents just ignored me and went on with my lecture. i did squeeze the topic in at dinner tables as best as i can but i guess the tension was high. i remember crying over certain fights i had with my parents. maybe things were that stiff. i unno.

did i try my hardest? perhaps not. because i was lazy. because i was afraid. because i was a procrastinating coward. someone's who too lazy to make an effort. someone who's too scared of facing my parents rejecting me to give me even more lectures than i already have. but i did try didn't i?

dawmn it, now even i dont believe what i said anymore. maybe i didn't try as hard as i ought have. so why did say i did? to comfort myself, to convince myself i was otherwise from what i truly am? eventually those lies will catch up to me.

maybe thats all i am, nothing but a convincing lowly deceptin liar...

_____________

Dorcy
Call me Dorce, Dolce, Xi

Im simple	Im deep
Im dumb	Im smart
Im conceited	Im self-aware
Im crazy	Im logical
Im loud	Im quiet
Im unfeeling	Im caring
Im messy	Im lazy

Im everything I love
Im everything I hate.



Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough Lorenze Lorenge Lozenges
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai







10/31/2004 - 11/07/2004
11/07/2004 - 11/14/2004
11/14/2004 - 11/21/2004
11/21/2004 - 11/28/2004
11/28/2004 - 12/05/2004
12/05/2004 - 12/12/2004
12/12/2004 - 12/19/2004
12/19/2004 - 12/26/2004
12/26/2004 - 01/02/2005
01/02/2005 - 01/09/2005
01/09/2005 - 01/16/2005
01/16/2005 - 01/23/2005
01/23/2005 - 01/30/2005
03/06/2005 - 03/13/2005
03/13/2005 - 03/20/2005
03/20/2005 - 03/27/2005
03/27/2005 - 04/03/2005
04/10/2005 - 04/17/2005
04/17/2005 - 04/24/2005
04/24/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 05/08/2005
05/08/2005 - 05/15/2005
05/15/2005 - 05/22/2005
05/22/2005 - 05/29/2005
05/29/2005 - 06/05/2005
06/12/2005 - 06/19/2005
06/26/2005 - 07/03/2005
07/03/2005 - 07/10/2005
07/10/2005 - 07/17/2005
07/17/2005 - 07/24/2005
07/24/2005 - 07/31/2005
07/31/2005 - 08/07/2005
08/07/2005 - 08/14/2005
08/28/2005 - 09/04/2005
09/04/2005 - 09/11/2005
10/02/2005 - 10/09/2005




Past
Shannie
'laine
Mel
Bree
Shar
Miv
Mitri



Image Credit --> Aethereality
Pixels --> Kawaiiness



This is my space to rant, spaz, kill, rampage and mentally masturbate about whatever, whenever I want and whereever I want. No one said that bitching was supposed to be eloquent or pleasant, so if you're offended, I'm sorry, but you made the decision to read what I wrote. To everyone that might or will offended, if I'm still your friend, no matter what I wrote here, I must still love you enough to entertain you every day. I am not without faults, so excuse me if you will, like I excuse whatever I wrote in here about you. What's here stays here, whatever. Copyright © to ME, Dorcy Xi Chen, unless otherwise stated.