Sunday, May 08, 2005
April 17alrity, another phone call from kaitai that made me think.
Im fat. thats what i've realized. sure, i always did knew that, but you know, that coming from him just greatly lowers your self esteem. but its not that im scared of. its the fact that he actually raised scientific facts such as heart attacks and me dying of high cholestrol one day. that really freaked me out. me having lumps of fat clogging up in my arteries and leaving me to rot and die like a fat pig. sure. i'd love to go on a tangent bout the unhealthy eating of everyone that causes everyone to be obese and what not. but i shouldn't be talking. i eat like a pig. i eat too much of everything. junk or healthy. maybe kaitai is right. if i dont start limiting what i eat, its not my image tahts going to be the issue, it's my health. sure, you can burn calories, but can you burn off all the things that un-burnable?? one fine day, imma send my liver into overdrive and get a stroke. i dont wanna tlka bout this no more, cause as im writing this, im eating oreas, the originals ones, and chip bags ready to be ripped open on the table. so i'll stop.
god, yth am i doing this to myself?!?! here i am, complaining that imma gon die if i dont stop, on the other hand, i'd rather stop talking bout this rather than give up junk food. this is crap. what is more important? my life or my mouth? my life no duh. then wth am i doing?!?!
you know what? it all comes down to self control. i was talking to mel just couple hours ago about my laziness. and guess what, me not being able to give up on junk food comes down to no perseverence and no self-restraint. im such a horrible person. i have little close to no positive qualities about me at all. im messy, im weak, im hesistant, im stupid, untalented and fat too. woot! theres me. but you know what? because im too stupid, messy, weak and hesistant, im not able to pick myself up from teh dirt and give up on junk food!
on the other hand, i might as well die early to help contribute to the decrease of world population. i swear, one day, i'll be considered a hero for giving up my sacred life for the greater good...
Throwing you kisses @ 5:49 PM
Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough 
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai
