Thursday, March 24, 2005
somethings changed with me. something has definitely changed.
i was so very crazy over kaitai... i'd cringe with every single word that he utters, i'd bleed with every breathe he takes, i'd cry with every twitch he makes, and i'd die with every single thing that he did that alienated me from him. but now... things are different. i mean, im still every bit as crazy about kaitai as i was, or am i? i dont know. i know that i have extremely strong feelings for kaitai, but, after reading sal's blog. i've come to doubt what i feel. i thought i loved him, i thought it was love, not just some 14 year old stupid crush thats just there cause its a phase that im bound to go through at one point or another in my stupid confusing life. i dont know just exactly how much i love him, i cant test how much i love him either. all i know is that i do love him. sometimes, most of the times, all the time, you dont know how much u want, need, cherish or love something until it's gone, until its left your life. i dont want that to happen. sal's torn apart by eistoor's departure for vancouver... but me... im just here, not caring bout grad or whatever. i dont noe if kaitai's carefree ways has taken a toll on me or whatever but i just cant seem 2 care less these days. maybe i want to care. be that melodramatic girl whose life is like a tv series. always in the dumps. so sad and hopeless. but now, im just another innocent face with another broad grin. im happie... but sometime i dont really know if i wnat that. stupid as it sounds its true. its the same with all crushes. nothing is ever precious if too easily gained. and me and kt didn't get 2gether without me sacrificing my term 2. so ya. i mean, y do girls like guys? its so stupidly retarded. they do nothing but make u depressed when u cant have them, yet somehow u feel more purposeful when you have someone to pin for. girls... such stupid ppl.
"That's what girls do
They keep you guessing the whole day through
Play your emotions push all your buttons it's true
That's what girls do"
sure... not all girls are like that. in fact, not any that i know. those girls only exist when they dont truly like you or they like putting you on hold. the thing is. guys do the same thing without realizing it... so... stupid lyrics. thats waht
guys do.
Throwing you kisses @ 10:24 PM
Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough 
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai
