Saturday, January 15, 2005
well, after sleeping on the events of yesterday, i've come to the conclusion that i have been a brat in front of kaitai and liam and may. i told ya so. im a retard whenever he's around. well, c here thing is, he was sarcastic as usual and sometimes when i would say something, he would go, "no one care". and i would do my pouty face and stop talking or go like, "you're mean.." in a girlish kinda way i s'pose. i think this happened like 2/3 times. god knows what he think of me then... prob some lil brat that cant take sarcasm. god. im so dumb!! *smakes head hard* but hey, at least he was nice enough to say, "ok, we care, we care" or stuff like that. that was nice. maybe even sweet-ish since he doesn't usually say that to me.
and another thing, when kaitai claimed he can do ballet by tiptoeing, i decided that he wasn't doing it rite, since you're supposed to not just tiptoe. so i proceeded to show him the proper way, a lame attempt since im not wearing my pointes. but 4 some reason, i had the hugest cramp in my leg and i collapsed onto the ground. ugh, the embarrasement. and in front of everyone too. so while i was cringin in pain, kaitai went on about how i have to stretch it out. but i was still on the ground, lamenting at my bad luck silently. i guess i gave the appearance that i have MAJOR cramps, cause kaitai tried to stretch out my leg. so he bent down and attempted to straighten out my leg... o god, thats so nice now that i come to think of it... c? kaitai isn't that mean, im not falling for the wrong guy ^^. but what happened next was funny. he tried to stretch it out rite? lolz ROFL. instead of tilting my foot backwards, he half-took off my shoe!! ROFL ROFL ROFL. o god, that was priceless now i recall the incident. meh, i was wearing jeans so he doesn't know lolz, so i had to yell out. "you're taking off my shoe, u bum" which isn't so funny anymore cause im sounding like a attitude-ish brat again. great going there me. awww poo. how could i do that?? i wish i could make it all up to the guys, esp him. or apologize for what i did, or even better, go back in time to fix everything i'd done wrong. but i cant really do any of those, i mean, apologizing... for having an attitude... to kaitai and liam who have the most attitude, thats just plain weird. but they were being REALLY nice yesterday, so now i feel real guilty. i mean, if they think thats the normal me.. i dont know. but girls have a rite to be sarcastic and different when they're around guys rite? i guess that all girls are just trying to prove that we're better than guys and that we dont need guys, we're no weaklings. so we shield ourselves with sarcasm and arrogance... but thats often not the image we want to give to ppl. i dont know if this applies to others, but i find living like this very contradicting. o god, wat can i do? i guess just be nice to them... i guess, easier said than done, and its not like im already not nice. but with kaitai, everything that was planned just flies out of the window. *sigh*
but its ok, i guess. still happie that i got 2 spend time with him. not just him, liam and may too. but hey, i wasn't an idiot around them...
Throwing you kisses @ 9:19 AM
Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough 
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai
