Tuesday, January 18, 2005

lolz b, "liver dying cause it got kicked into overdrive by the heart" (or something like tat) always can count on u 2 cheer me up. but but...dont do waht u say you are about to do... you know that just makes me sadder. im a downer, i needa change that, and u making that statement isn't exaclty helping to change that fact. so jus tlive ur life the way it is and DONT CHANGE ANYTHING. and the thing at lunch... even though i was uneasy, its not ur fault, dont think much bout it. its was my fault really. it is it is. so no u didn't do anything wrong. and if im going to be so paranoid, im the one that needs to deal with things. i mean, i cant control how a person feels and if i cant make them feel a certain way, its just because im incapable, im an useless piece of trash. the truth is as simple as that. i dont think i'll be too happie that someone only feels a certain way because there are no options left to him. if im incapable, fine, i can live with it. i've been living with that thought for the past 4 months and now more than ever, thx to my ever supporting parents and teachers. theya re such wonderful help to me moving on in life. i really love them. SCREW THEM ALL. the fact is, im going to be able, no matter how broken up i am inside. im ok, but bahh... who am i kidding im not okay... poo it. im so superficial, i even lie to myself. waht kind of person have i become?? an ingrateful brat who isn't capable of telling the one that she loves what she truly feels and someone who always manages to make her friends feel bad. im a horrible person... ahhh SCREW ME!! i have such a messed up soul, i deserve to be dead. i have no positive effects on society whatsoever, except perhaps raise the grades of other ppl by helping them with what i cannot handle in the first place. im just a tool to get better math grades. i should leave that to a machine and just jump into a river and end myself. no one cares anywyas. ladeedoo...

_____________

Dorcy
Call me Dorce, Dolce, Xi

Im simple	Im deep
Im dumb	Im smart
Im conceited	Im self-aware
Im crazy	Im logical
Im loud	Im quiet
Im unfeeling	Im caring
Im messy	Im lazy

Im everything I love
Im everything I hate.



Restless
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$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough Lorenze Lorenge Lozenges
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Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai







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Past
Shannie
'laine
Mel
Bree
Shar
Miv
Mitri



Image Credit --> Aethereality
Pixels --> Kawaiiness



This is my space to rant, spaz, kill, rampage and mentally masturbate about whatever, whenever I want and whereever I want. No one said that bitching was supposed to be eloquent or pleasant, so if you're offended, I'm sorry, but you made the decision to read what I wrote. To everyone that might or will offended, if I'm still your friend, no matter what I wrote here, I must still love you enough to entertain you every day. I am not without faults, so excuse me if you will, like I excuse whatever I wrote in here about you. What's here stays here, whatever. Copyright © to ME, Dorcy Xi Chen, unless otherwise stated.