Saturday, January 22, 2005
h-hem... this is quite a surprise for a pleasant saturday morning... whose comment should i c on my beloved chatterbox but my dear old annoying mouse (lolz mitri). well, apparently, u read my blog... so im gonna post whatever i gon say to you here... cause i've actually quite alot to say, being the blabbermouth that i am... =^.+= (haha, i love those lil emoticons u make with punctuations!!)
anyways, im
still dying to know who you are, just in case you haven't figured that out yet. i mean, you obviously is someone that is either in gifted or in touch with the circle of gifted ppl at JGA or pay close attention to the names mentioned in my blog to say them with accuracy. i dont even think i've matched up cam with sielksi b4... but somehow, you knew. so just who are you? hmm... you obviously are nice enough to drop by and read what should be neglected and actually care enough to comment... i mean, u seem to be analyzing kaitai very well hmm? so who are you?? dont keep me waiting aighh? tell me! lolz... i sound like some policeperson with anger problems. ^.~
and another thing, u sure know how to read between the lines dont you, either that or u read chinese or took the time to translate my gibberish chinese into understandable text. lolz. well, of course im not worried bout mel or bree. i mean, mel is practically in love with marko (spelt with a k, yes mel) so, it would be just plain foolish to think her doing anything rite? and bree, despite the fact that she doesn't like anyone at the moment, i trust her enough. but its kaitai im worried about. he has tons of options open to him right? so, why would he chose lil ol me? hmm... here comes that feeling of incompetence again. i'll stop b4 i go any further or all ma girls will be slapping me for it. :P lolz.
as for shyness... kaitai?? puh-lease. i findly that very um... shall i say... unfitting? (jeez, i need to update my vocab so i can sound smart like dimitri lolz) i am not of course, denying that fact that kaitai will not be shy. guys are complicated creature with complex emotions that the human beings of the other gender will never hope to figure out no matter how simple television makes them seem. alrite, i mean, the general notion of what goes on in a guys mind must be more than beer and sex rite? if not, i/we live in a terribly sad world. * flisk tear :P * so i cant say i've gotten any guy figured out at all... and as much as i find the fact that kaitai can be and probably is embarrassed or shy questionable. i'll keep what you said in mind. cause i find very adorable. ^^ haha... someone such as kaitai being shy... awww... i find that sooo cute. or maybe its just me but watever lolz.
what else is there (go back to site to check what else you said that i'd like to add upon) *couple moments later* ahh yes, flirting. as i've mentioned, i think month ago, i haven't the faintest clue of what flirting is all about. i dont flirt with ppl i consider friends and ppl who i think more than just a friend *coughkaitaicough*, i act like a retard around them... so pathetic but mehh... besides... guys flirting... ogod ROFL as i think of Liam. that guy is almost as hopeless as i am... i swear. or maybe not if my theory proves to be wrong. however if teasing girls are guys way of flirting... liam is flirting CONSTANTLY and kaitai no doubt either. wes and EVERY single guy could be considered flirting too. *raises one brow in effort (jeez, i needa learn how 2 do that too ^^)* so yes... girls are less flirty than guys... but meh.
and its not like all the stuff you said hasn't gone through my head a million times before. now that cam's told kaitai, that just turned the whole situation upside down. everything needs to be reanalyzed. whenever something that proves that kaitai dont like me pops up, i tell myself i would give up. but i never do. its just something about the human nature that never lets you completely give up. i would say to myself that i've 98% given up on him. but what bout the other 2%? those tiny parts of still scream out of the happy ending i've been wishing for. and in the end, its those two tiny percents that conquer the whole of me and im left to stand with my hopes up high only to have them fall and break again. and because i'm wishing for a fairy tale ending, i tend to take note of all the nice things kaitai is doing, and those tell me that he might like me. when all this time, its everybit as ridiculous as it sounds. sure, the nail polish shopping, snowball fights, drama, and hist reviewing may sound nice and bring my hopes way up there as they already have done, i look back to his words that he said before about not feeling anything special about one person until he finish uni, and i know that as nice as these current events may seem, they dont mean a thing against his actual words. i would like to believe what he did over the past few days meant what i hoped it means. i mean they do send out certian vibes dont it? but then again, i tell myself its kaitai and those wont mean a thing past the friendship level. i would to deny that completely but somehow i cant, those 2% are still clinging onto me as strong as ever and i cant shake myself of that. those two percents tell me that hes avoiding me cause hes shy and might like me and hes doing all those stuff cause he likes me... but the rest 98% tell me how impossible that all that is... but i still want to go with what my 2% says and i know i will. its only a matter of time, before i hand myself entirely to my romantic notions... only matter of time. but now that he probably knows... me and joy had this scary notion that kaitai might be trying to let everything sink in. and he needs time for that. hes somewhat confused so he's trying to hold on to me while he figures out what he's truely feeling. he doesn't wanna lose me but at the same time, he doesn't wanna give me the appearance that he likes me. so what hes doing is trying to secure his situation. so when he does make up his mind. if he does like me, i'll be here, still loving him as i always do, if not, he can just come straight out and reject me and break me. its a logical explanation. dont u think? but when u think bout it... its what most of us do aint it? while we let everything sink, in, we leave the other person on hold... waiting... thats real evil, if you ask me, every single second longer that you take, the more broken the other person will be. evil.
anyways, annoying mouse, tell me who u are aighh? ^^
Throwing you kisses @ 8:35 AM
Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough 
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai
