Tuesday, January 04, 2005
well, same ol same ol. except a few other things to keep in mind.
I love JGA... everyone is gifted is beginning to seem like one huge family. its a nice feeling. ^^ anyways... vball tryouts tres tres confusing. im starting to sound like miv. all her french influence. but its alrite i love u mivv!!!! the date and time of the vball tryouts are as uncertain as the weather... but good thing i didn't miss it during luch. i really thought i was good... until i tried the serves... the school vballs r sooooo muchs ofter and easier to exert force upon than the one i play with... so my serves went WHAM!! into the ceiling... the only good one (we only had 3 tries anyways, and i only got 2) that i did serve... the coaches were looking away... so that was pointless but good thing they're not basing the cut on 2day or i would have so died. i mean... if i dont make the 3rd cut, i would cry out in anguish for the unfairness in the world.
i still wish i was in bree's seat. the table made it impossible for kaitai to talk with anyone else but bree. lucky her and now all the girls are noticing kaitai's gentleman-ness thx 2 moi. ^^ nice to know im doing something good 4 him, but at the same time i dont know... im still terribly insecure... but i'll stop going into a rant. i mean, i hope sarah's insecureness didn't come from this blog... god, that girl worries more than i do... well, i guess she has more at stake but all odds are in her favour but everything is stacked against me... so i REALLY dont c da point of her worrying. sar, if u readin this, i suggest u read my latest post 2day on that other blog thing. lolz... now i have/ had 5 blogs... im so crazy.
also... somehow, my dad snuck a letter 2 ms a between my tests... dunno if it was on purpose but i certainly didn't know bout it. and well, he wants 2 meet with ms a. great, now im officially the suckiest kid in da world. wth. he says its not the grades he cares about... he says its wats behind taht horrible percent that makes him upset. sure... dad... say watever u want, change wat u wanna say every 60 milliseconds. i really dont care. u knwo you're just ruining ur relationship wiht me even more. great going there. u dont understand me, so just give up or die trying. we really have nothing to talk about now and u ask me y i blog... no phone and msn is me being sneaky... who else do i confide to?? besides... i dont like to be a downer. im so like the sun.
and do u know whats amazing i said something deep and poetic 2day.
1)there's always someone in your eyes, but now, no one's worthy of them, so your gaze still lingers on the one that you last had them upon.
2)i'm like the sun, brilliant, bright and happy and happy on the outside but burning inside.
i feel so proud. *pats self on back* good mood... must be the volleyball... o PLZ PLZ LET ME MAKE THE TEAM.
o ya, joy asked me if i had to choose between sitting at bree's spot and having kaitai to treat me like a close friend, and making the team waht would i choose?? i dont know what to say, my instincts tell me to choose the first. i guess initially in the beginning of the year, the main reason y i had wanted to so desperately make the team is cause of kaitai, my lame attempts to be good at wat i can to impress him... sure. i still love him, its pointless, but im a girl at heart... (and even outside maybe lolz) and i cant help hope that my fairy tale fantasies come true. so now... im gonna make da team for myself and for him. i have to do things for myself! whoever said taht guys make ur grades slip are foolish... unless u count taht thurs but that was completely accidental, but on the most part, me loving him only makes me work harder. thats y all my sketches look so nice... its cause he sits beside me and can c them... im hopeless but i dont mind... if my hopelessness brings me hope, i'd rather stay a hopeless lil girl forever.
Throwing you kisses @ 10:05 PM
Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough 
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai
