Friday, December 24, 2004
you know what i said bout wes being part of my soap opera?? well, lets just say thats another sad part of the never ending episodes.
for some reason, he found my blog. its so horrible. i mean, i feel so invaded. so exposed... i was shrieking inside my head... everything just fell apart. its like he'd jsut driven a hole through my heart, and now its bleeding... my secrets spilling out for the world to see. i felt like curling up into a ball like a porcupine and exposing my prickles so i can shut everyone out from me, prevent them from ever coming closer. but the pricks refuse to comes out, and im vulnerable to attacks of any kind. so naked... so unprotected... so easily hurt.
how could wes just go and find my blog like that?? one that contains all that i felt. he's reading me like a book, a book that was locked away from him. he broke the lock and in the meantime, broke me, broke my spirit. so now, im drowning, drowning in my own self-inassurance, waiting for the onslaught of verbal attacks that'll be mine to endure in ten days' time.
but i still dont know how he found it. he might have gotten it through google and well, you have to be super bored to look up someone's blog. dont get me wrong, i think wes is an "uber" ^^ awsm guy, he's really great but half the time, he has no clue what he's doing. i dont want to believe it was intentional. so i choose to believe tht it was chanced upon. pure accident... its not him, its just me being too sensitive i s'pose. but that doesn't stop me from being provoked.
Throwing you kisses @ 1:26 PM
Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough 
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai
