Friday, December 31, 2004
i've realized that my obsession with kaitai has prevented me from writing about so many other things that intrigue me and because i only have that much time on my hands everyday to spare on this blog. but o well. wats here is here.
i dont know how many of you know bout my old friend, the one who had a major crush on a guy since grade 3 but didn't have the courage to tell him but ended up migrating to canada instead. so her feelings for him were forever buried. but she still likes him through all these years. 5 whole years. and just this summer, she learns that her best friend might like him and he might like her back. what is she to do now? its been a long time since i've thought of this since she obviously turned her attention onto some other guy. but now something stirring in my head arouses this again. we all know that our girlfriends come before guys any day. but what are you to do in a situation like this. she gave her best friend her best wishes. would i do the same had i been put into her shoes? i would like to do that, but now i know. how painful it must have been for her to make that decision. she realizes she comes nowhere close to having his heart since they're oceans apart and its one of her best friend she's talking bout. she said if she's going back to china again, she will tell the guy of her feelings. but how can she do that without wavering his affections for her best friend? it's a give or take situation. everything in our instincts tell us we should forfeit the guy for our friends and that is what she chose to do. but i cant help but think back to all the songs that stars girls who forfeits her friends for her guy. do guys really have that much control over us?? men used to be have the dominant hand in relationships, companies, and even countries. but times have changed and we are our own men or in this case, women. we control our lives but who truly controls our heart when we're in love? think back to the movies, the novels, the soap operas where so many have made "love" their tool to achieve a certain motive. under such circumstances, will logic still be able to stand up to passion? will the brain to put its foot down and supprese the romantic thoughts of the heart? i have failed pretty miserably in my previous attempts and so have many other before me. but when the subject weighs down to so grave a one as such, who will we chose to control our actions and words? i would like to believe i'd entitle this power to my brain and logic, but when the time truly comes, would i be able to follow up on my words? i would, i should and i could. i will not ditch my girlfriends for any guy.
then again, seeing the situation from another point of view, would all this have happened had my friend told her bff about her feelings for the guy? would that have changed anything? i know it would be best to lay off whatever feelings you may have for your bff's guy, so in a certain degree, it would help to restrain those thoughts. but once again, what does logic have over passion? would the heart not overthrow the brain once again? it seems despicable as it is to steal your bff's dream guy from her and many classify girls like those as sluts, bitches or whores. horrible, horrible, horrible names. but what if its only the heart at its doing. no one can truly control what the heart does. you have to be super strong mentally to suppress such feelings wouldn't they? aigh. 2 much to think about... gonna sleep on it...
Throwing you kisses @ 9:41 PM
Restless
10:28a.m.
Home
Sunny
Yellow Tank + Green LaSenza PJs
$230 (69 thongs)
Nothing
Cough 
No one
Only Hope
Make plans
Thinking
High School
Kaitai
